{Shikoku Hachijūhachikasho Meguri}

--Thoughts during Week Eight--

I was up a little after five-thirty and ate at six while watching the news. While eating i heard the girl i've been playing leap frog with for a few days leave. I guess she wanted an early start. I didn't leave until seven.

My hotel was right at the base of the mountain that you climb to find Temple 84 (Yashimaji) so i was at the top before eight o'clock. It was quiet and there was only one other person there when i got there. I relaxed for about a half hour before heading back down the mountain. On the way down, i passed an elder couple and the wife gave me 130 yen as settai for something to drink.

Instead of following the trail directly to Temple 85 (Yakuriji), i went all the way back down the mountain to find a bank. I got there a little before nine (when banks open) so i went back to Lawson's and had an OJ to kill a little time. At nine i went to the bank and then headed back up the mountain to refind the trail to Yakuriji.

I got to Yakuriji a little before noon and then headed to Temple 86 (Shidoji), getting there a little before two. When i got there i ran into the girl again but we didn't get much time to talk as she was leaving by the time i got out of the office where i got my Nôkyô stamped.

It was a long walk to Temple 87 (Nagaoji) because it was both hot, hot, hot, and because my body knew it was the last temple of the day. By the time i got there (just before two o'clock) i was really tired. It wasn't just sore feet, it was just plain fatigue. After getting there, the girl and i spent a while talking about the trail and our experiences since tomorrow she heads off to finish and i head off to Bangai 20 (Otakiji).

After checking into the hotel, i immediately took a bath so that i could get my laundry started before the top sumo matches started around five-thirty. At six, after sumo was over, i went back out and hung the laundry on the line for the night.

Speaking of sumo, did i ever mention that the Niô statues in the Niômon of Bangai 18 were sumo rikishi? I was really surprised but forgot to take pictures. Usually they are fierce warriors who's sole purpose is to protect the deities of the temple. I guess the people who built this temple couldn't imagine anyone more fierce than whichever rikishi these statues were designed after (they appeared to be the same person).

I don't visit any temples tomorrow. In fact, i don't do much of anything tomorrow. There is a huge lack of inns between here and Temple 88 (Okuboji) - especially if you go near Bangai 20 (Otakuji). I have reserved a room at the only inn in that area (Shimizu Onsen Center) and it is only 16 km (10 mi), or so, from my minshuku tonight.

I'll goof off all day tomorrow and try and not check in until after three or three-thirty. Then on Wednesday it is a long march of 30+ km (19+ mi) to Otakiji and then back along many of the same roads to Okuboji (Temple 88).

I tried to reserve a room at the only minshuku in the town where Okuboji is located but was told that it is full on Wednesday. They gave me the phone number of an onsen (hot springs resort) about 2 km (1 mi) outside of town and luckily i was able to reserve a room there. It is more expensive than usual, but last night's room at the business hotel below Yashimaji was cheaper than usual so it will balance out in the end.

Tomorrow's weather is calling for cloudy weather then turning to rain. Wednesday's weather is calling for rain before stopping and just remaining cloudy. The key is, when does the rain begin and when does it end? If i am lucky it won't start until after i check in tomorrow and will stop by Wednesday morning when i set out. There is the possibility that i could get that lucky, but they still aren't being that precise. I guess i'll find out tomorrow.

If i have to climb Otakiji in the rain suit i will lose another 1 or 2 kg (2 to 5 lbs) without doubt. The girl i was talking to said it right today when she said she doesn't like the rain because walking in the rain suit is like walking in a sauna suit. Tomorrow's temperature is supposed to be 25 degrees (77 F).

As i start to think about the painful process of returning to the normal working world again, i chuckled to myself tonight when i was looking out the window of my minshuku. It has been two months since i have been outside at anytime after about five-thirty at night and i think it is going to feel strange to be on the streets after dark. For the past two months my day has quite literally ended when i check in at four o'clock. When i return to the US, as soon as it gets dark my Pavlovian body is going to automatically start looking for a bed to crawl into.

My feet tell me it is time to return, though. There is no reserve and little resiliency left in them lately. They feel fine in the morning but after just a few hours on the asphalt they hurt and remain like that for the rest of the day. If i walk in the mountains and on dirt, they hold up much better, but those days are rare. I spend a little of almost every day in the hills and mountains, but i still usually walk on an asphalt road.

It is also going to take some serious readjusting once i return to being around lots of people day in and day out. I have always loved the mountains and have just as always been somewhat of a loner (i call myself an extroverted introvert). Being back in an office in the city and around people all day is going to require some work on my patience for awhile, i imagine.

My Japanese has certainly improved, i would think. I have used it almost exclusively for two months so either it has gotten better or i have reinforced the same old mistakes. I'll find out when i have my first class back in Chicago. One thing has become obvious, though; i have to learn all the Kanji characters. While the hundreds that i know are much more than is needed just to survive, it is still frustrating not being to read anything i want - like the informative signs around the temple compounds. And the newspaper.

The three most intriguing people in Japanese history (in my opinion) are Dogen Zenji, Kûkai/Kôbô Daishi, and Muso Kokushi (aka, Muso Soseki). I have already spent considerable time on Dogen, and the preparation for this trip brought me up to speed on Kûkai. After this trip i want to set the rest of the year aside to finishing volumes two and three of George Samson's history of Japan, and to researching the life of Muso Kokushi. I have already read the basics in a few books, but want to start digging below the surface. He was a fascinating man who lived at that fascinating juncture overlapping the end of the Kamakura period and the beginning of the Ashikaga Shogunate. And like all large personalities, he had both avid supporters and just as avid critics. What makes Muso more difficult than the other two, though, is that i have to do this research in Japanese as there is almost nothing in detail available in English.

One thing i have come to realize during this trip is the fact that i don't much care for the legend that has become Kôbô Daishi. Kûkai was a fascinating man who accomplished many wonderful things. Kôbô Daishi, on the other hand, was a man greater than life and could do anything - much of it unbelievable. It is my opinion that Kûkai would be better served if his legend was allowed to cool a little and some of the exaggerations were pulled out of the picture.

--5/18 Day Fifty-One--
I dragged my feet this morning at the minshuku as long as i felt comfortable doing so since i knew that i only had 16 km (10 mi) to walk to the Onsen center where i would spend the night. I finally left about seven-fifteen, but headed across the street to Nagaoji and relaxed there for about a half hour while looking over the map.

Since there was nothing that i knew of between here and there, i expected nothing but a day of walking and taking breaks. And, that is exactly what i did until a little after twelve-thirty when it started to sprinkle.

About 30 minutes after leaving the minshuku i reached the edge of town and then started a slow climb up to 490 m (1630 ft) on this and that side street. As i was walking along one side road, i walked past a shed with a man inside carving a statue of Kannon in a large log.

He caught me staring and watching him work so we talked for about ten minutes. He does this as a hobby and never sells what he carves - he gives them away to whoever wants them. He started carving when he was in the service back in WWII times. He said something about not receiving a salary at the time, and i meant to follow up on that to see if i had understood correctly, but we got side tracked and went back to talking about the carving he was doing at present.

Besides the Kannon, there were at least two other large Buddhism related statues in the shed. The Kannon that he was carving now was in a 1.2 m (4 ft) log about 50 cm (20 in) in diameter. He had left about 60% of the sides intact from top to bottom and carved into the log from the front so that you have a figure of Kannon standing inside the log in three dimensions. It was really well done. He said that he has been working on it for about a half a year and expected it to take a few more months before it was finished.

A little up the hill from the wood carver, as i was walking past Maeyama Dam, a taxi pulled over next to me and offered me a free ride to Okuboji (Temple 88) as settai. Unfortunately for my feet, i refused and explained that a) i am walking and couldn't accept and b) i was going to Otakiji (Bangai 20) instead of Okuboji. He told me to take care and left shaking his head (who turns down a free taxi ride?).

Just past Maeyama Dam, i left the side roads i had been walking on and headed up into the mountains on a small one-lane seldom used road. Here i began the serious climb up to the pass that would take me into the next valley. After about fifteen minutes i heard a lot of commotion in the forest on the side of the road and i stopped to try and figure out what was going on. I didn't see anything for a few minutes because the forest was so thick, but soon i made out a large pack of monkeys. I couldn't see them very well, but from what i could see they were dirty gray in color and the adults were about three feet tall. When they saw that i was just standing there watching them, they started hollering and running up the hill. I left because i didn't want to make them mad. They outnumbered me by a huge amount.

At eleven i passed a small restaurant out in the middle of nowhere. I really wonder who he thinks his customers are. The door was open, but all the lights were off so i stuck my head in the door and asked if anyone was in. When a man answered i asked if he was open and went in when he said yes. He had been sitting in a room on the side watching a samurai drama on TV but got up and said that all he had to offer was sushi or ramen. Since he didn't seem to do a lot of business i admit i was worried about the freshness of the sushi so i asked for the ramen.

While i was eating we chatted about a little of everything - a Brazilian of Japanese descent that had walked the trail a few years ago and had stopped at his restaurant, sumo, me, a collection of old Japanese money he had on the wall, the weather, etc. When i finished and asked how much i owed him, i was surprised when he told me nothing. I was so shocked that he had to tell me again. He never said the word settai, but that is what he had just given me. I thanked him a half dozen times and then headed down the road.

Sometime after leaving the restaurant, i passed back into Tokushima Prefecture. I guess Otakiji is in Tokushima Prefecture and Okuboji is in Kagawa Prefecture. There was a large map of Tokushima Prefecture on the side of the road and i stopped to look at it for a while. As the bird flies (or as the car drives) i'm not all that far from where all of this started a few months ago. But, since i'm still walking, it will take me another three days to get where most people will get in a few hours. Walking sure alters your concept of time.

Since it was sprinkling on and off already, i didn't take a lot of time and breaks as i normally would when i know i am getting to my destination early. Therefore, i ended up checking in early - a little before one-thirty. They told me my room was still being prepared, but i could sit in the large dining room and relax if i wanted until it was ready. I joined the other dozen elderly couples already in there, found a table, studied my map, and listened to various people sing karaoke until someone came and got me when my room was ready.

I fell asleep after going to my room and slept from two-thirty to four-thirty. When i woke up i went to the bath and am now writing this as i sit in the large common dining room watching sumo on TV. I'm the only one here besides the staff. I guess others are watching it in their rooms, but i don't want to put the money in the coin TV.

It is incredibly windy outside and i can see the clouds blowing past my window as i type this. It is going to be quite a storm tonight whenever it gets here. I walked in light sprinkles from eleven-thirty until i got to the onsen and it has been raining on and off since then, so i know it is on the way.

A few people have told me that the rainy season has already started in Okinawa and that it is expected to start in Kyushu nest week or the week after, and that means Shikoku will follow suit soon. I am finishing this walk just in time. Rainy season usually doesn't start here until the middle of June, give or take, so it is early this year.

I told the hotel that i wanted to be on the road by six-thirty tomorrow morning so i wouldn't need breakfast. I said that i would eat crackers after leaving, but they didn't like that so they have made me some onigiri to take with me. As usual, i thanked them but asked them not to put those sour ume-boshi in them.

The woman at the front desk told me that i could leave bag here tomorrow when i leave for Otakiji in the morning. Since i will be returning this way on the same road, i will pick it up as i pass on the way back to go to Okuboji. That means the 20 km (12.5 mi) i have to walk in the morning should go a lot faster and not carrying the weight of the pack should spare my feet for the afternoon. I now stand a chance of being able to reach Okubji by four o'clock and checking in at the onsen near there at a reasonable hour.

I'll stay at Takeyashiki Onsen near Temple 88 tomorrow night and try sometime tomorrow to reserve a room near Temple 8 for Thursday night. I still haven't decided what to do for Friday night. I may try and reserve a room in a minshuku near Temple 1. Or, maybe i should try and take the bus into Tokushima City and get a room there. I want to get an early start to ôsaka on Saturday morning so that i have time to find a hotel room before meeting with Matsumoto-san at six in the evening at the ôsaka train station.

As i sit and try and remember all the various people i have met on this trip, i wonder who are the ones that i would like to meet again in the future. Certainly the wood carver today would be one of them. I would like to spend some time talking about that non-salary issue, why he loves carving so much, and watching him work. Maybe ask him to teach me a little. I would love to be a wood carver.

I would also like to go back and talk to the history book reading ex-soldier who signs Nôkyô books at Bangai 18. And, what about the healer that comes to Shikoku each year from Shizuoka. It would be fascinating to go to Shizuoka and spend some time with him discussing his work, how he does it, why he thinks it works, who are his typical patients, and so on. Does he really think it works? Or, is it all a scam and he knows it? Then there's that woman back at the beginning who i wondered if she was a shaman? I'd like to talk to her and get her story as well.

I also wonder about the Zen monk from Hiroshima that i met back at the minshuku on day one who teaches meditation at his father's temple but would love to go to the US. And the head monk that has the Zen training center for wayward children in the mountains above Negoroji. I'd like to spend some time with him finding out why he does it, how he got involved (does he have a checkered past himself?), why the kids listen to him at all, why they respect the rules and put up with the routine instead of rebelling, what kind of results he has had over the years, etc.

Certainly i'd love to come back and spend some time with the man who is walking the pilgrimage for 1000 days. Maybe i'll learn all i want when i sit down with the information he gave me, but it will probably just lead to more questions.

All in all, i have met a lot of interesting people during the past two months. While the people above may have stories that make them stand out, everyone has been interesting, even the people that i just stop to ask directions from. I've talked with everyone from garbage collectors to retired local politicians and found that the people were open, friendly, caring, and always willing to help when asked. In fact, more frequently than not, many were willing to help even before being asked.

It is going to take some time to put all of this in perspective; to climb a little above it all so that i can sit quietly and look down on it from a distance. I have gone through days of pure ecstasy and happiness. I have also (as you well know :->) gone through days on end of anger and unhappiness. It is going to take some time to sort through these emotions before getting down to what the walk really meant to me.

--5/19 Day Fifty-Two--
Some of the gods were smiling on me today. I left the onsen at six-twenty, as planned, under broken skies that got clearer and clearer as the day went on. Maybe the storm blew past us last night, but it didn't rain as much as predicted; the ground just wasn't wet enough this morning to have absorbed a lot overnight. I carried my rain suit because nothing was certain, but i never ended up using it. In fact it was hot and humid all day. I walked and sweated off another half a kilogram (1 lb) today.

However, to even things out, other gods were mad that the weather was good and made me pay for it by making me walk what may have been my one and only 40+ km (25+ mi) day.

The map book says that it is 10 km (6.2 mi) from Shimizu Onsen Center to Otakiji. That would be 20 km (12.5 mi) round trip. Here is what i did according to the road signs i passed.

I walked on the highway for a little over an hour before getting to the side road that leads up Otaki Mountain. Let's call that 4 km. At the junction of those two roads there was a sign saying that it was 12 km up to X and the road going up to Otakiji (Bangai 20) was after that.

I walked and walked, expecting to see a walking trail up the mountain, but i never saw one. I finally started asking people i saw working out in their fields, and all three told me that, while a trail did exist, it was unusable and that i should walk on the road all the way up.

After passing X, i walked another 1 or 2 km (let's call it 1) before getting to a right turn that took me to the top and Otakiji. At that turn the sign said it was 3 km more up to Otakiji at 930 m (3,100 ft).

Add all of those up and it sure looks to me like it was 20 km from the onsen to Otakiji. Round trip, then, was 40 km. Luckily for me, i had left my pack at the onsen and only carried my Nôkyô book, rain suit, camera, and some food. I attribute the lack of a pack as the only reason my feet were able to hold up.

By the way, i should mention that i met Kûkai the dog again today. I was walking past a house on my way up Otaki Mountain when a dog started barking at me. He came down the driveway toward me and i had no idea what to expect but i wasn't worried as he stopped barking when he got nearer. His owners were there as well, working in a field next to the house. I greeted them and then continued walking. After a few minutes, Kûkai came up along side me and walked with me for the next forty-five minutes, or so, before turning back. That dog sure gets around.

I was really pooped when i got back to the onsen so i asked if i could stay one more night. I thought that i would make the walk to Okuboji (Temple 88) in the morning. (In hindsight i say) Fortunately, i was told that i couldn't, sorry. I told them it was no problem and after collecting my things i headed out the door at two-thirty.

I hustled today like i have never hustled on this entire trip. The trip almost all day was on roads that were built on long, shallow grades but covering a lot of distance. That meant that by pushing myself i could keep up fairly good speeds. Even after putting the pack on i kept pushing myself. Luckily for me, after getting my pack it started to cloud over and the winds started to pick up again so it cooled down a little.

I crossed back into Kagawa Prefecture after leaving the onsen but will return to Tokushima Prefecture sometime late tomorrow morning between Okuboji and Temple 10.

I found the short cut i was looking for and headed off the highway and up the hill towards Okubojji a little after three-thirty. To my surprise, after only thirty minutes i stumbled on an onsen with the first two characters in the name matching the one where i was going to spend the night. I stopped and asked and found out that it was, in fact, where i had reserved a room. So, instead of having to walk all the way to Okuboji and then back down another road for 2 km, i got lucky and stopped 3 km (as it turns out) short of reaching Okuboji.

The map book says it is 10 km (6.2 mi) from the onsen where i stayed last night to Okuboji (and the road signs agree), so i walked 7 of those kilometers. That makes my total for the day 47 km (29 mi). It's possible because i know how fast i was walking and because i didn't have a pack for the first 40 km, but it seems hard to believe. I do know that i couldn't have done this 52 days ago. I haven't been in this good of shape since leaving Africa in '91.

Tomorrow i'll eat at seven, check out before seven-thirty, and walk the remaining 3 km (2 mi) up to Okuboji. From there i'll work my way back through the valleys to Temple 10, where i pick up the original trail of almost two months ago, and head to Temple 7 (Jûrakuji) where i will spend the night. It should be about 32 km (20 mi) in total.

Tomorrow's weather is forecast as another hot and sunny day. In fact, the next chance of rain isn't until Tuesday - when i head to the airport. That means i should have good weather for the weekend in ôsaka and Kyôto.

While mentally i don't feel as if i'm ready to stop in two days, i do know that i am in need of a break. I'm tired physically and mentally tired of walking with traffic on my shoulder. I slept from two-thirty to four-thirty yesterday afternoon and still went right to sleep when i turned off the light at nine-thirty last night. Of course i woke up at four-thirty in the morning, but i was able to drift in and out of sleep until six, when i got up. In any case, that is way too much sleep. My body is telling me i should take a break. I haven't had a full day off since i left on March 29th.

Part of the adjustment that i'll have to go through after getting back is the fact i have accomplished my last remaining long-term goal. Other than the perpetual goal of learning all the everyday kanji characters, i now find myself in the awkward position of having no immediate goals sitting on my list. That begs the question, what next? I have been thinking about, and planning for, this trip for ten years. What replaces it now that it is finished? Certainly flying more hours to make up for what i had to give up for this trip and to become proficient again. Probably spending more time on my French. Researching and writing a paper on Muso Kokushi?

So, only one and a half more days of walking. I'll have a full, 30+ km, day tomorrow starting with my final temple at Okuboji and ending at Jûrakuji (Temple 7) where i'll spend the night. On Friday it should be about a half day - finishing in the early afternoon, if not in the late morning. From Ryôzenji (Temple 1) i think i am going to take a bus to Tokushima City and stay in a hotel there. I can get an earlier start to ôsaka on Saturday morning that way.

--5/20 Day Fifty-Three--
When i got up it felt no different than any other day. Up at six, repack while waiting for breakfast at seven, eat, brush my teeth, and hit the road by seven-thirty at the latest. Today was no different. Until i got out the door.

Once i started walking, it was impossible not to think about this being the day i get to Okuboji (Temple 88). It was impossible not to keep anxiously looking as i crested each little hill on the road; looking in anticipation for the roof line of the temple. It would be impossible to deny that i wasn't walking a little taller today, with my back a little straighter, with shoulders a little squarer, and, yes, probably with a smug little smile on my face.

And, sure enough, by a little after eight, there it was. It was no different than any of the other temples, but it was number 88 and that makes it a special temple. Not special in the sense of it being the last temple - it's not. There is no "last" temple on this pilgrimage. There is always another temple just past the one you are coming to. There is always another temple that can be walked to from where you are. The circle continues unceasingly. But number 88 means (for those like me that started at number 1) that you have now visited all of the temples at least one time. And with that recognition comes a sense of completion. A sense of fulfillment. And that makes this temple special.

As soon as i got there i noticed that there were three other men there who also seemed to be finishing their trip. Two were obviously together and were just standing around talking to each other. The other was just coming out of the Nôkyô office.

I admit that i expected some sort of comment from the man in the Nôkyô office this morning. Not personal recognition for what i have done, not a pat on the back, or a "Well done." But, some kind of sign that he noticed that i had finished and made it all the way around. But, all i got was: Stamp. Sign. "There you go. That's three hundred yen." (Hai. Sanbyakuen desu.) One more disappointment registered in the books.

Tradition states that henro leave their walking sticks here at Okuboji when they leave. Officially, this is where Kôbô Daishi finished the pilgrimage, and since your walking stick has represented Kôbô Daishi walking the pilgrimage with you, you leave it here in front of the Nôkyô office.

The two men together had kept theirs and were not leaving them, from what i could see. The third, and youngest, though, had just put his in the container when i came out of the Nôkyô office and was standing in front of it with a bowed head and hands together in gassho. Apparently, for him, he was really saying his good byes to a colleague and companion.

When he was finished, i put my walking stick in the same receptacle and must admit that i felt a little sad doing so. Over the past 53 days this piece of wood had become an extension of one or the other of my arms. It had become an aide and companion to one or the other of my legs on many a long and steep climb or descent. It was with an uncomfortable feeling that i left it behind. But, instead of a bowed head and a prayer, all i could come up with was "Well, i hope your future, whatever it may be, is more than just the trash heap, my friend. Maybe if you are lucky you'll be used in one of the temple's Goma (Fire) Rituals some day. Good luck."

With that i headed out of the compound and to a coffee shop at the foot of the walkway coming up. As i came out onto the street the youngest of us four was just heading down the road in the direction of Temple 1. The other two were just standing around talking and looking around across the street.

It was hard for me to leave the area, and i have no doubts that it was as equally hard for the other three. There was an impelling need to linger, to sit and soak up one last breath of the experience, to absorb just a little more of the pilgrimage. It was because i couldn't make myself leave that i wanted a cup of coffee, not because i was thirsty. The coffee gave me a legitimate reason to hang around just a few minutes longer.

As i was sitting there, one of the men from across the street came in and ordered something to eat. After a few more minutes, in came the youngest of us. Apparently he didn't get far before he was called back as well. The fourth stayed outside, but he didn't leave. Obviously no one was in a hurry to get anywhere else.

I was the first to leave and headed off down the road in search of the trail marker that says Temple 10 (Kirihataji) - the place where i rejoin the original trail and where i start the trip to Temple 1. Until i got to Temple 10, though, i was still walking on trail that i hadn't walked before.

The rest of the afternoon was a mixture of happiness laced with just a tinge of an emotion laying somewhere between a sense of loss and sadness. I don't get to Temple 1 until tomorrow morning, but that is now inevitable so i am all but through already. That is a wonderful feeling. And yet, i'm through already. After tomorrow morning i don't have to walk anymore. There is no more looking down the road for the next landmark or sign. No more waiting in anticipation for the next night at a minshuku. No more wondering who will be the next person i meet on the trail that piques my curiosity. No more wood carvers. No more healers. No more zen monks. No more dogs to name Kûkai. And that stirs the feeling that i say is between a sense of loss and sadness. Maybe i can call it a sense of lossness?

I ate udon for lunch at a small shop in front of Kirihataji and let me tell you that there is a huge difference between Kagagawa Prefecture udon and Tokushima Prefecture udon. No udon on the island can compare to Sanuki (Kagawa) udon. After what i have been eating, today's lunch was a little disappointing. But at least it was filling.

After lunch i headed down the road, called Jûrakuji to confirm my reservation for tonight, and then alternated between walking and taking breaks. Even with breaks though i still arrived at the temple at a quarter past three.

Since the weather was beautiful once i got out of the sun, i didn't even try and check in but took a short nap on one of the benches off to the side of the compound. I woke at four when one of the grounds keepers started watering the plants. After sitting around for a little while longer i checked in and the rest of the night was like any other night.

There is a wonderful verse in the Chinese classic Tao Te Ching which goes something like this:

You make a wheel from spokes and a hub,
But it is the hole in the middle that makes it useful.
You shape clay to make a container,
But it is the space within that makes it useful.
You put doors and windows in the walls of a house,
But it is the holes that make them useful.
Profit comes from what is there,
Usefulness comes from what is not there.

What makes the pilgrimage useful isn't the buildings, or the treasures inside, or the stamp you collect each time you pass one of them. What makes it useful is what you find between the temples, in the empty space that constitutes the rest of the island. What makes it useful are the lessons you learn as you walk each and every day - from landmark to landmark, from city to city, from prefecture to prefecture. What makes it useful are the lessons you learn from the people you meet continuously day after day - whether or not you actually speak to each other, just by meeting or making eye contact there was an interaction. And every interaction produces a lesson, however subtle.

And who is to say what lessons you will learn? No one but yourself. Each and every person who undertakes this journey will walk away with a different perspective and have learned different lessons. No two people are alike. No two people are made up of the same combination of attributes that makes us who we are. How, then, could two people have the same exact experience. They can't. Some of the lessons learned may overlap, but the experience in its entirety will be different for each and every person who makes the undertaking.

So what did i learn? I'm still thinking about that. I probably took somewhere in the neighbohood of 2 million steps during this trip. No one step was more, or less, important than any of the others. No one step, by itself, was particularly interesting. Yet, the sum total of those steps made the journey what it was - a trip around the island of Shikoku.

Likewise, i have thought millions of thoughts during the past two months. And none of them, by themselves, were of stellar interest or better or worse than any of the others. Yet it will be the sum total of all those thoughts, what they were about and how they changed from day one to day fifty-four, that will make this journey what it was for me.

Let me quote one last thing for the night. It comes from the Dhammapada, a classic of the Pali Cannon:

The idler who does not exert himself when he should, who though young and strong is full of sloth, with a mind full of vain thoughts -- such an indolent man does not find the path to wisdom.

Breakfast is at six tomorrow morning so i will be out on the road by six-thirty. That should have me back at Ryôzenji (Temple 1) by as early as ten or ten-thirty. I'll hang around at Ryôzenji, i'm sure, for the very reasons i hung around Okuboji this morning. But, sooner or later i'll take the bus back to Tokushiuma City where i'll find a hotel for the night and check on buses to ôsaka for tomorrow. It turns out that buses are both cheaper and take less time than trains from here to ôsaka.

--5/21 Day Fifty-Four and the Last Day on the Trail--
As hard as it is to believe, it is over. A i write this i am sitting in a hotel in Tokushima City relaxing and watching Sumo on TV.

I tried to be as symmetric as i could so stayed in a temple last night and went to the morning services this morning. That is the way i started all of this when i went to Mount Kôya back on March 26th. But while the situations were similar, the experiences couldn't have been any more different. It was like light and dark, hot and cold, clear and opaque.

I still vividly remember that morning service at Kôya the morning before i left for Shikoku. It was zero degrees (32 F) inside the building and i sat alternating between watching my breath and watching the service that was being performed in the back half of the sanctuary - separated from us by curtains that were mostly opened so that you could see, but not 100%. The lights were off and there were no windows into the room. It was dark and mysterious, with fire, smoke, bells, whistles, horns, and a lot of chanting.

This morning, on the other hand, it was a warm, early summer morning. The temple was bathed in sunlight and lights brightened the corners the sun didn't quite reach. There wasn't a curtain in sight and everything was open and in plain sight. The sole priest sat facing the alter directly in front of us, chanted a few sutras, and then it was over. It was a service that was intended to satisfy a daily need - not to mystify. We were all invited to walk around to the back of the hall after the service to see the two main statues and then we went off to breakfast.

I left Jûrakuji about a quarter to seven and was at Ryôzenji (Temple 1) three hours later. It was a slow and noninteresting walk when compared to the rest of the trip. I walked on the side of the main highway into Naruto most of the way and there was a lot of traffic. I also knew that the trip would be over once i got there. But, i was surprised at how unemotional today was. The emotions played themselves out yesterday, i guess. Today was simply a 'let's get back to Ryôzenji so i can get on my way to ôsaka in the morning' type of day.

I think i received settai from the man who signed my Nôkyô book at Temple 1. Since i had already received a stamp from Ryôzenji when i started, i was going to get another one to show that i finished on a separate piece of paper like i did for all the bangai temples. When i showed him the paper, he pulled out one he had and asked if we should use it instead. I didn't particularly care, so said it was OK.

However, instead of writing the usual info (name of the main deity and name of the temple) he wrote four characters that mean i have successfully completed what i had hoped to do. In addition the words that came preprinted on the page seem to say something about having returned to the temple where i had started from.

Of course i didn't know all of that until he was done and i had handed him a 500 yen coin. But instead of giving me the 200 yen in change he held it up, bowed over it, and said thank you. He then went on to explain the four characters he had written. I then realized that i wasn't getting any change and that reminded me that someone once told me that they have a completion certificate that they sell (of course) for 2,000 yen. Did i just get one for 500 yen? I don't know because i've never seen the certificate. But, i didn't really care about the two hundred yen, so simply thanked him several times just in case and moved out of line so someone else could get their book signed.

As i was repacking my backpack, the man came over again and when he saw my pack he asked if i had walked. When i told him yes, he told me to wait and came back with a can of coffee as settai. As usual, i thanked him a couple times and then gave it away about five minutes later (sorry Georgia). Never did get used to the stuff - it is just too sweet for me.

After waiting for the bus, i got to Tokushima around noon and the people in the tourist information center made a hotel reservation for me when i told them that 6,000 was OK. It has to be the seediest hotel i have ever stayed in in all of Japan. It is clean, but has the barest minimum of fixtures, all dating from about 50 years ago. But, it is right next to the station where i catch the bus tomorrow morning and it is quiet so i'm content.

I leave on the 8:30 am bus and arrive at the JR Ôsaka train station at 11:00. I'm meeting Matsumoto-san there at 6:00 pm so will look for a business hotel in the area of the station. After that i'll just wander around until i can check in, take a quick shower, and then it will probably be a night of eating and drinking (both beer and sake if i remember him correctly).

Sunday i'll either wander around ôsaka some more or take the train to Kyôto for the day. I still haven't decided, but i like Kyôto so am leaning towards that.

Let me go back one last time to the issue i raised a month ago about the worth of this trip. In the calm reasoning that comes with hindsight, i realize that i need to make myself a little clearer than i did.

For me, from my personal point of view and in my personal situation, this trip was not worth what it cost me in time and money. That does not mean that the trip is, in general, a waste of time for everyone. I don't regret having undertaken the trip, i'm ecstatic about having successfully completed it. But, given the time and money i invested in it, both would have been better invested in other activities - mainly the activities i had to give up for a year to get here (flying and skiing).

If someone has the time to give up and isn't required to take unpaid vacation, if the large sum of money isn't an issue, or if you live here and can do it on the cheap, then by all means the trip may be worth it for you. In such a case i highly recommend it. My complaint is a person complaint and reflects my situation only. If you face the same issues, i'd recommend that you think twice before committing to coming.

When i came here, i came with the hopes of learning about the culture and the history of the pilgrimage. And that has to include the history and the personalities of the temples themselves. In addition to learning more about the island and the people, i had hoped to follow up where Oliver Statler had left off over 20 years ago. To see what changes have taken place since he was here in the late seventies.

To find the temples closed, the men and women in the Nôkyô either unwilling, unable, or too busy to talk about the history, and, above all, to find that the temple culture has become pay per view, was an extreme disappointment.

I never doubted my ability and resolve to finish the journey. That was beyond question from day one. Baring physical complications that prevented it, i was certain that i would finish and finish on schedule. That is just my personality. But i will always feel that i walked half a pilgrimage. I walked the physical side. I spent a pleasant two months in the mountains (a lot of the time). I walked through, and experienced, a lot of incredibly beautiful scenery. I got to walk through an entire Cherry Blossom season (and that is worth a lot in and of itself). I got back into shape again (after many years).

But, i never got to walk the pilgrimage related to the temples attributed to Kûkai and Gyôgi. But, here is where my words are not sufficient. I know it sounds like i am being contradictory. On one hand i say that the temples are not what is important and that it is what is between them and inside myself that is important. I believe that is true. On the other hand, i say that excluding the temples means that i left out part of the pilgrimage.

You could study Japanese Buddhism without spending any time on Hakuin, Dogen, Nichiren, Shinran, Kûkai, Saicho, and the likes. They aren't essential to the study. The true story of Japanese Buddhism is what happened to it, how it developed, and how it evolved in between all these men. How it affected the state, how the state affected it, and the people's relationship with it. But by excluding them you are leaving out an important part of the story.

I think this is similar to what i am saying about the pilgrimage. For what i accomplished i could just as well have gone on a long walk through Yosemite or along the John Muir or Appalation Trails. If it weren't for the fact that i was in Japan, seeing a part of the country i hadn't seen before, and seeing how the culture of Shikoku differs from that of Honshu (the main island), then those other options would have been better. But i love being in Japan so those options wouldn't have been equal and i'm still glad i was here.

Rounding the last bend,
The temple's roof comes into view,
As i wake to find i'm home.

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