{Shikoku Hachijūhachikasho Meguri}

--Thoughts during the weeks prior to starting--

As you can see from the schedule on the previous pages, i'll start with a long, long train ride back to Hirata, just short of Sukumo, and about 2 km away from Temple 39, where i left off last spring. From there i'll head north. Tom Ward, the dentist from Tokyo, says he plans on coming down again this year and i look forward walking with him on the 23rd and 24th. Then it's on towards Kagawa Prefecture, where i'll call it quits just after Bangai 16.

I've been home sick for several days, and the boredom is worse than the cold/flu. But, i took some time yesterday to make several hotel reservations online for my non-walking days. I now have hotel reservations for Ōsaka and Mt. Kōya on the first few nights, Nakamura City for the first Monday as i make my way back to Temple 39, and back in Tokushima City on the night before heading back home.

The trip back to Temple 39 is an all day affair. I'll leave Mt. Kōya around 6 am and take the trains back to Ōsaka. There, i'll pick up a bus that will take me to Tokushima City. After lunch there, i'll catch a train just after 1 pm that takes me down through the heart of Shikoku to Kōchi City and then down along the coast to Nakamura City, arriving about 6:30 at night. After a night in a hotel right by the train station, on Tuesday morning i pick up an early train at about 6:30 am and get to Hirata in about a half hour. From there i'm back to two feet inside boots.

There could be a lot of us foreigners out on the trail this spring. I have heard from a lot of you over the winter, and while some of you are only walking portions of the trail, there are several who are walking it all. One of the people i talked to is a monk and is planning to beg his way around. I have to admit that i wasn't overly positive in my response (although i don't think i was negative) but in his response to my reply was a phrase that i absolutely love. "There are gaps in the universe which only appear when you walk into them with confidence." Isn't that wonderful. That doesn't change my opinion that begging your way around the henro trail isn't possible, or, at least, highly improbable, but this is certainly the attitude one needs if you want to try and undertake such a thing. Heck, this is the attitude that one needs just to live a better life. IMHO, of course. From the bottom of my heart, i wish him the best. And i hope each and every one of you reading this finds the courage to look for those gaps in your universe that intrigue you and to turn your shoulder sideways and slide through with a heart full of confidence, curiosity, and wide-eyed enthusiasm. Gambatte Kudasai to all of you!

In a similar vein, i was listening to a podcast the other day in which Hogen Bays gave a quote that he attributed to Henry Moore. I don't remember it word for word, but in essence it was something like: "Everyone needs a passion so large that they can throw their energy and life into it, but which they can never completely accomplish." Isn't that so true? It's in these great and grand passions that we actually live a life instead of just existing for another lifetime. Instead of just another round on the samsaric wheel, believe passionately that a spiral is possible instead. You're still going around, but growing at the same time. It's in the never-ending chase for these completely unaccomplishable goals that we find what we are made of. That's also one of the quotes on the first page of this web site, and it came from T.S. Eliot. "Only those who dare to go too far can possibly find out how far they can go." That's my mantra on my long training runs as i get closer to the Chicago Marathon in the fall, and will repeat it over and over as the miles build up. But, it is also my mantra on the trail on Shikoku. You'd be surprised what you can learn by doing nothing more complicated than walking. If you do it correctly, that is. And if you push yourself you can take yourself past limits you never imagined. You can see things about your life that you never imagined possible. You can see things about life that you didn't even know you could imagine. You can actually see those gaps our monk friend was trying to point out. How many of us have the courage to walk into them, though.

It's late and i've said enough. More later. Have a good day, everyone.

--3/27: 2 weeks before leaving--
For reasons as completely unknown to me as they are to you, i feel compelled to share with you my new favorite poem. It's by Mary Oliver, a wonderful, wonderful poet, and is called When Death Comes.

Death isn't the issue here — at least not in a direct sense. It's our approach to life that she is really focused on. In a way very similar to the search for those gaps in the universe i mentioned above, Mary is trying to force us to step back from the grey, undifferentiated tedium of an unlived life. She is trying to tell us that there are gaps in that tedium, and that if we look long enough, and poke and prod courageously enough, we can find those gaps. And when we do, and when we peek through, oh the wonders we will see.

It takes courage to look for the gaps. But, it takes even more courage, once you find one, to "step through the door full of curiosity, wondering: what is it going to be like," as Mary points out. Yes, Mary is talking about the final door of this life, but the same is true for those doors we find as we look for the gaps in our universe while still fully in this world. They are well hidden, and hard to get through, but the rewards for efforts made to squeeze through are tremendous. It's in the bright sunlight of the world on the other side ot the gap that we find passion, enthusiasm, tears of joy, unbelivable contentment, and unbounded love and compassion.

All of us worry about the same thing, i think. We all worry that at the end of this life we may find ourselves wondering why we hadn't found any gaps, or if the gaps we had found had been for us and not someone else, and whether "i have made of my life something particular, and real." I certainly worry about it. A lot. I have poked and prodded quite a bit over the course of the years; and found some very interesting gaps. Life on the other side of some of them has been amazingly beautiful. But, the problem is, long ago i realized that after even more poking and prodding i had found another fascinating gap in my universe, but it is on a small island thousands and thousands of miles from home, off the coast of southwest Japan. It's a gap i find myself compelled to revisit each year, and each year, as i get off the airplane and pass through customs in Japan, i feel my shoulders turn sideways as i slide through the gap into the world of the henro trail.

The world of the henro trail is the complete opposite of undifferentiated tedium. Every step of every day of every week of every month spent on the trail is different from the one before and the one to come. Every person you meet is different from the one you met previously and the one just down the street. Every meal is prepared differently, every bath is heated to a different temperature, every futon is different, every day brings slightly different weather, every blister hurts in a new way and heals at a different rate, every temple signs their stamp just a little differently, every day brings new challenges and new rewards.

No two days are the same on the henro trail — if you keep your mind open. No two steps on the henro trail are the same if taken with a mind full of curiosity and acceptance. This is what makes the henro trail so important. It isn't just a trail around an island, but a trail around my life; a trail into, out of, and around all of the habits i bring with me to the island, a trail up and down the emotions that i try to abandon but find unlosable, a trail into the unbelievably refreshing and invigorating world on the other side of the gap. A world of infinite possibilities. A world of unlimited growth. A world of unconfined passion. A world of inexhaustable wonder. Said another way, but still saying the exact same thing, it is a world of simplicity; of integrity; of humility; and of freedom.. Simplicity, because life is pared down to just one step, just one breath, for days on end. Integrity, because you find that life presents itself to you honestly and expects the same in return. Humility, because only this attitude allows you to live on the other side of the gap. Freedom, because that is the reward life offers when you make the effort to be sincere.

The henro trail makes it clear to me that i want to be more than just a visitor in this world.

So, the question of the day that i put to the world, is: Are you simply visiting the world or are you actively exploring it? Are you a bride married to amazement or monotony?

And, did i point out that i leave in two weeks?? :-)

--4/2: 1 week before leaving--
Valid passport? Check.
Money? Check.
Air reservations? Check.
Backpack? Check.
Camera? Check.
Clothes? Check.
...

It looks like i'm ready. I leave in just about a week; on Wednesday the 11th. I'll be stopping on Maui for one day/two nights for a friend's wedding, so won't actually get to Ōsaka until Saturday night, but even then, it's getting close. Last night i didn't get much sleep for thinking about it.

I'm trying a new strategy this year to beat the blisters. I will only wear toe socks this year; you know the kind — where each toe gets it's own little pocket. A company called Injinji makes them with Cool Max for hikers and runners, and by wearing them, i should be able to eliminate any chance of blisters on my toes. That leaves only the balls of my feet and the heels to worry about, but i'm going on record as predicting that this is the year of no blisters!

I am soooo far behind my running curve this year that it is terrible. I'm probably in worse shape going into this year's walk than i ever have been. In a fit of stupidity, i took half of last year off and quit running at the end of July. I started again in January, but February was so cold that i quit again. I ran twice in wind chills of minus 18* F, and decided that that was foolish. Then i was sick for the first two weeks of March, with whatever took out a third of the Chicago population, so am just now running again. My three miles would have looked OK at the beginning of the year, but if that's all i'm doing as we enter April, i'm in deep doggie doo doo when i come back from Shikoku. I sat down and looked at my running calendar the other day, and according to the most conservative marathon training schedule i could draw up, i have to run 6 miles the day after i get back. Sigh.............. (only those who risk going too far, can possibly find out how far they can go. only those who risk going too far, can possibly find our how far they can go. only those who risk going too far....)

Have started the process of pre-paying all of my bills for April and the beginning of May so that nothing is missed while i'm gone. For most of them i'm not actually paying now, but am scheduling a payment through the bank's online bill pay for while i'm gone.

I finally settled on the book i will take and read while on Shikoku. It took a long time to decide, but have finally decided on Kosho Uchiyama's Opening The Hand of Thought. At 250 pages, that means i need to read over 10 pages a night. That may not sound like much, but, surprisingly, it is. I check in between 4:00 and 5:00 each night, and relax until the owner tells me the bath is ready between 5:30 and 6:00. That can take a half hour if i sit and soak like i usually do. Dinner is usually about 7:00 and can take up to an hour at the smaller minshuku because they just love to sit and talk to the foreigner. :-) (And i love to sit and talk to anyone.) By then it can be between 7:30 and 8:00 before getting back to my room and only then do i get a chance to start writing in my journal. Given that i turn off the light right around 9:00 each night, that leaves almost no time to read. Most people roll their eyes at just the thought of turning off the light at 9:00, but that seems to be the standard for henro, both foreign and Japanese. Walking is tiring. Then if there is a baseball game on TV on any given night, i have even less inclination to read.

More great food for my thought from Thomas Byrom's version of the Dhammapada:

Hard it is to be born, Hard it is to live, Harder still to hear of the Way, And hard to rise, follow, and awake. Yet, the teaching is simple. Do what is right. Be pure. At the end of the Way is freedom. Till then, patience.

How's that for a great admonition. "Till then, patience." All he says is hard, hard, harder, and hard again, yet still points out that the key is patience. That is so contrary to all the advertising we are bombarded with day after day. We are told to hurry, to struggle, to work harder and harder, to work more hours, to spend, spend, spend, to never let up — and if we keep it up, with the nose to that proverbial grindstone, we'll be successful. We'll make it to the top of the heap. We'll have everything we want and need. What they don't tell you is that they made it up and it's really a pack of lies. Moreover, what no one in the advertising world will admit is that that life style certainly never brings freedom.

The Dhammapada goes on to say later on,

Look within — The rising and the falling. What happiness! How sweet to be free! It is the beginning of life, Of mastery and patience, Of good friends along the way, Of a pure and active life.

So it sounds like freedom is something to work for. And if he says it's as simple as doing what is right, being pure, and mastering patience, then i'm all for ignoring the advertisers and listening to this. In fact, this could have been written about the henro trail. It can certainly be found there. It's the beginning of life. Absolutely. For a great many people this will be one of the first times where they slow down enough to see life instead of existence.

It's the beginning of mastery and patience. Ditto. A great majority of people learn to master many things over the course of their lives, but they never learn to master the one tool they were born using and will die using — their mind (as opposed to their brain, which is different). Learning to measure the henro trail by steps and breaths, instead of measuring it by kilometers, days, and prefectures will definitely allow you to learn patience, and that allows you to master your mind.

I have mentioned many, many times in what i write about the good heartedness and friendliness of the people of Shikoku. Of their, not just willingness, but their seeming desire to go out of their way to help henro that they see. To offer something to drink. To offer something to eat. To offer a place to rest. To offer advice and directions. To offer money. To offer a smile. To offer a long and hearty laugh just when it's needed. To offer a generous heart and support in any way that is needed. The henro trail is most definitely the beginning of finding good friends along the way.

Finally, there can be no doubt that the henro life is the beginning of a pure and active life. How could it not be. It doesn't get much purer than living each day with simplicity, frugality, and determination. It doesn't get much more active than walking 20 to 30 kilometers each day, seven days a week, four (or five) weeks a month, over several months.

Look within (while on the henro trail).

How sweet to be free.

--4/6: The Friday before leaving--
I know, i know. You've said that before, but it just doesn't make sense sometimes.

It doesn't have to make sense. That's what passion is all about. Why can't you just accept it?

I do, but...

No you don't, or you wouldn't be having these arguments with your self all the time. And, they serve no purpose. Do you no good. You're just wasting your time by thinking about it and wasting my time by making me listen to you.

I can't believe you said that. I don't make you listen to me...... But, just answer me this. Is it normal? Am i just being weird?

Listen, you already answered your own question back in an earlier page of that goofy journal you keep online. Remember when you copied that poem from Kōbō Daishi? If i remember, it went something like

From the beginning     That which i sought        Lay in my hands.    How stupid i was       To have thought it an echo           Floating to me                                                                                   From beyond.

Yeah, so what's your point?

What's my point? You're the goofball that wrote that. What was your point? Are you saying you don't agree with it any more?

Of course not.

Are you telling me that you think you should give up what you have in your hand for an echo you might hear if you go somewhere else and listen hard enough?

Of course not.

Aren't you incredibly anxious to get there?

Of course.

Aren't you happier in your boots, on the trail, rain or shine, than any where else?

Yes.

Then why does this passion bother you?

I just wonder sometimes if there's another gap out there that i'm supposed to find. That i could find — if i stopped spending all my time thinking about Shikoku.

(Sighhhhhhhhhhhh) You're an idiot. You know that? Let me spell it out for you. P.A.S.S.I.O.N. Got it? It's supposed to make your heart sing. It's supposed to make you see the beautiful side of everything. It's supposed to catch your breath in your throat when you think about it. It's supposed to keep you up for days on end with little sleep. That's what passion is all about. You know how many people would kill to be as passionate about something as you are about Shikoku? It's our passions that define who we are, and this one says a lot about who you are.

I know, i know. You've said that before, but it just doesn't make sense sometimes.

...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Welcome to life inside my head, and conversations i have with myself, as i get closer and closer to leaving.

--4/7: Saturday--
I was sitting in the bookstore this afternoon looking for a book to buy with the last of a gift card i had. While reading and enjoying a cup of coffee (or was i drinking coffee and enjoying a good book?), i was struck with a thought about the significance of the Shikoku Pilgrimage for foreigners. At this point, those that know me already have their eyes rolled way up in the top of their heads and are mumbling something like "A thought? Uh oh... this looks scary......" but bear with me.

Those that choose to make a spiritual path a major part of their lives are rare. I'm not referring to those that put on their suits, or just their nicest clothes, on Sunday and go out for their once a week, see how pious i am, visit to the church, temple, or synagogue of their choice. I'm referring to those who spend a portion of every day thinking about how to integrate the teachings of their choice into their everyday routines, into their personality, into who they are.

No one, i would think, would argue about the benefit of being more compassionate, of relating to others based on unqualified love and acceptance, or of being happier and more content with your life. No one, i would think, would argue about the benefit of really, truly understanding who we are, where we came from, and what our purpose in life is. Every spiritual tradition says that having and understanding all of these are the rewards of walking the spiritual path. So why don't more people decide to do it? It's because the thought of it is too scary, and the people with the courage to try are rare.

The maps to, around, and through, the spiritual landscape are obscure for all but a dedicated practicioner. The human maps speak in terms you've never heard before. The paper maps seem to be written in a foreign language or look as if they are just words randomly thorwn across the page of book after book. You look at them over and over and the words just don't make sense. You ask someone who is supposed to have mastered these strange words and they talk as if they are speaking a different language. You're sort of expected to give up your normal diet and eat "healthier" food. You're asked to spend time with people who don't act anything like your normal friends do. You're even told that the way you think is wrong, that your habits are wrong, that the way of looking at the world that you were taught, that your parents beileved, that their parents believed, is all wrong. You're told to sit for hours on end trying to think non-thinking. Or was that not think about thinking? Or was that not think about non-thinking? Anywhay, how are you supposed to navigate all of this with maps that don't even appear to be written in a language you can understand? That's too scary to contemplate, so just give me another beer and turn up the volume so i can hear the next song on American Idol please.

That's the henro michi in a nutshell. For most of us foreigners, Shikoku is a large unknown. It's a strange country, where they speak a strange language, eat strange food, eat, sleep, and, in general, live on the floor, for heavens sake, write everything in an unintelligable script, and tell you not to worry as they hand you maps that no one you know has any clue how to read. And while you're still standing there trying to get out of the headlights, someone is patting you on the back and telling you that you'll be a better person if you just get started. Don't worry about it, you'll figure out how to get around the island as you go. That's scary.

The Shikoku henro michi is the perfect analogy for the spiritual path. For those with the courage to start, and the detmination to see it through, the rewards on both paths are the same. The path may be difficult at times, especially as you get started, but you get stronger with each day. You may not understand a word at first, but sooner or later you start to notice the same characters and words repeating themselves and come to have a gut feeling as to their meaning when you encounter them. You may not have a clue what you are supposed to do at the sacred places you end up at, but as you watch others and try to copy what they do, the routine becomes familiar and you start to feel less awkward following suit. In fact, in time it starts to feel like home.

Just like you may not want to sit today at home, you may not want to walk today on the henro michi, but instead sleep late and then get up to a hot cup of coffee and a few hours with the newspaper. But, being the dedicated henro, you do sit, you do head out and start walking. Why? Because that's what you said you were going to do.

Just as when your boss suddenly made you furious, a sudden shower has hit and you now find yourself walking in a storm. But, being the dedicated henro, you smile, accept it, push the thoughts out of your mind, and continue what you were doing. Why? Because you know that in the grand scheme of things this storm means nothing and only affects your life if you choose to let it. Which you don't.

Just as when you get lost on the henro michi, you can get lost on the spritual path at home. You stand there at the crossroads trying to figure out which way to go even though every road, every sign, every thing looks exactly the same. With no obvious way to choose one direction over the other, you're frozen in place. Then, out of nowhere, Kōbō Daishi shows up in the guise of a stranger. While you don't understand a word she says, she takes your mapbook, turns it this way and that, stares at this page and that, and then, with a smile, points out the correct road. Or, she makes it clear that you are supposed to follow her and proceeds to lead you 2 miles down that road to a sign that makes sense; at which point she points to the left — and walks away without another word. Why? Because that's what people do when strangers need help.

Maps are important on spiritual journeys. Journeys can be scary without them. But, they aren't indespensable, you can get around without them. To do that, though, you have to open your heart and mind to strangers; strangers who already live where you want to go; strangers who started walking before you did and have already deciphered some of the landscape; strangers who, like you, believe that there is more to life than sitting inside with a beer wathcing American Idol, so happen to be outdoors as you pass and when you just happen to need help.

Maps are important on spiritual journeys. So even if the only one you can find is in a language you don't understand, pick it up, head down the road, and when you get lost, like you inevitably will from time to time, simply stop the next kind stranger you see, smile a sheepish grin, and make it clear that you would appreciate help. Then keep going.

Yes, the Shikoku henro michi is a good training ground for the spiritual path; and for walking both, the rewards are immeasurable. Look within — The rising and falling. What happiness! How sweet to be free!

--4/8: Sunday--
Thousands of times i have asked,
    and a thousand times no reply.

Thousands of times i have pleaded,
        and another thousand times ignored.

Why is it the answer comes
          only when you stop asking the question?

The temperature rises,
   and the sakura blossoms.
       The sun goes down,
          and a chill settles in the valley.
              Spring comes to Lockport,
                 and my thoughts turn to Shikoku.

--4/9: A day and a half before leaving--
OK, to change the pace here, have you heard or seen these bits of wisdom from one of Lama Surya Das' books?

What did the Dalai Lama say to the hot dog vendor in New York?    Make me one with everything, please. Or, how about this one. (Feel free to wait until you stop laughing from the previous pearl of wisdom before attempting this one.) Have you heard about the Buddhist Vacuum Cleaner?    It comes with no attachments.

I spent Sunday going over my schedule one last time before deciding that it is close enough. I have to get to Kuma Town on Saturday night in order to meet Tom Ward, with whom i'll walk on Sunday and Monday. After that, i don't really care were i start and stop each day as long as i get somewhere near Temple 66 or a train station on Tuesday, May 1. That way i can spend Wednesday travelling back to Tokushima City in preparation for leaving on Thursday. The point of the online schedule is only so those that want to do so can vicariously follow my progress. As of now, it looks more than good enough.

I spent some time this morning digging out some of the 'stuff' i need to take with me: backpack, left over incense, left over candles, kyohon, juzu, wagesa, etc. Tonight i'll dig out my clothes and rain gear and start one large pile so it will be easier to inventory and then pack on Tuesday night.

Have i mentioned that i'm stopping in Hawaii on the way to Ōsaka? I arrive on Wednesday night for a Thursday wedding (not mine, obviously) and leave on Friday morning. The issue i have been thinking about is how do i add three days of clothes to my pack so that i don't arrive in Japan with everything i own already dirty, without having to carry those extra clothes all around Ehime Prefecture. I have decided that i'm going to take the oldest underclothes i own as those extra clothes and then just throw them away before leaving the hotel in Hawaii. I then end up in Japan with exactly what i normally would have taken and am no worse the wear. Of course i'll still have to cart around the shorts, flip flops, and hawaiian shirt i have for the wedding itself, but that's not much.

So, all the mundane things.... all of my bills are now paid up or scheduled for payment through early May, salt has been added to the water softener in the basement, the post office has been told to hold my mail until i come back, my neighbors have been told that i'm leaving so they know that if they see smoke it's not me burning my hot dogs again and they should really call the fire department, yen cash and travelers checks have been bought, dollar cash is on hand, new batteries are in my Japanese/English dictionary, teeth have been brushed, ..... I think i have done all i need to do. A few more times practicing writing the Heart Sutra and i'll even pack up the notebook and calligraphy pen.

A pilot is flying three people in a private plane — a Tibetan lama, Bill Gates, and a hippie. Suddenly the pilot announces to his three passengers: "I have bad news for you. The plane is going to crash. We have to bail out now. Unfortunately, we have only three parachutes. And since I am a terrific pilot, and I don't see any reason why I should die, I am taking one of them. Good luck!" And with that, he jumped out of the plane. Bill Gates said: "Since I am the smartest man in the world, and very valuable to civilization, I am also going to take a parachute and save myself." And with that, he leapt out of the plane. The lama said to the hippie: "I have already lived a long and fruitful life and have no need to live longer. Therefore, you may take the remaining parachute." "Relax, mannnn," said the hippie, putting the parachute on to the lama's back. "The smartest man in the world just strapped himself into my backpack."

:-) Have a great, great day.

--4/10: 8 hours before leaving the house--
I leave the house for the train station and the long journey to Ōsaka, through Chicago, Seattle, Maui, and Honolulu, in about 8 hours.

Everything is piled around the living room floor and now ready to put in the backpack. I''ll get up at 4:30 tomorrow morning, check my email one last time while eating breakfast, and then throw everything in the pack pack everything very carefully before heading out the door at 5:30.

I have never been a Hawaiian Shirt kind of guy, so have never worn one that i can remember. But, i bought one a few weeks ago because the official outfit for the wedding i'm going to is shorts, hawaiian shirt, and flip flops. Well, let me tell you, i love this shirt. It is killing me to not have worn it yet. I can not wait for the wedding Thursday evening so i can finally put it on. I may wear it around the entire henro michi as well!

Japan — i'll see you in about 3 and a half days! Oh, to have my feet back on your soil. To breath the clean, clear, Shikoku air. To see the stars from a window at a minshuku on the henro michi. To watch the sunrise over the Pacific from a small Shikoku fishing village. To eat a bento and drink a can of juice while sitting on a rock by the side of the road and watching someone work in their field. To go to sleep knowing that you just walked 35 km and are now that much closer to the answer. To be a.l.i.v.e.! How sweet to be free!!!!!!

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